Today I have one of those random post I do occasionally where I talk about life, so if you are into those kinds of post...keep reading! I have had this topic saved in my drafts for a long time, but I randomly decided that it was time to post it. So without further ado here it goes...
Let me start off by saying that I am 23..almost 24 years old living in the Deep South. I admit that at this age my mom was married and had me already. The fact is that most people that are my age and even younger have been married and popped out at least a kid or two by now. I however, have a different plan in life. I will admit that sometimes it does get to me when all my friends talk about how they are married or engaged. They often talk about kids, but hey I am not jealous of them here what so ever. I am not that much in to kids so this is something I am not worried about. I do wonder sometimes as to whether I will be single for the rest of my life.
I mean take Carrie Bradshaw for instance, it took her forever to land Mr. Big. Even then their marriage was rocky and well less traditional than most. I am one that shows up at family gatherings being one of two people that are legal age that are not married. Is this odd to you? Apparently I am somewhat of a "cat dog lady" at this point. In my small town when you are single and in your twenties it is time to start panicking. Not me though I have made it to 23/24 and still holding out. I would like to be married and love someone one day, but the thing is that I am not settling for some Tom, Dick, or Harry that shows interesting in me. I have standards and some of them are ones that I can't make exceptions for.
Fun story.The first time I went to the new church my parents go to I was approached by someone stating that she needed to find me a husband. I mean I stood there frozen and hoped that she was kidding. Well I quickly gathered that she was not after she started naming the single men in the church. I mean really am I so old that I should be worried about getting married? I mean when I laughed at her..this is the look I got!
I even was told this last week by a friend who was trying to get me to meet one of his buddies,however he did add that I was intelligent! I about died, somethings are better left unsaid.
Now I admit that I have had a few serious relationships in the past and I just never felt they were the right one. It does get somewhat lonely here, because there are not guys that I would give the time of day to be honest. When I was a little girl I was one that dreamed of fairy tales and happy endings, but sometimes that just isn't in the equation for some. I know I have spent too much time looking in the past thinking about the what-ifs in relationships. You know that "What is things were different" kind of thoughts. I am the first to admit that I consider my appearance to play somewhat into why I am single. However I have come to the conclusion that God made me this way regardless of how much I have tried to change myself..it isn't happening anytime soon.
I know I was reading one of my favorite blogger's blog(Courtney) the other day, where she was talking about how much social media is driving her crazy. Well I can concur on with everything she said. I mean it is like daily that I see engagements, marriages and pregnancies. It is like the whole world is trying to let me know that I am single and need to commit. I am not in any way trying to discourage others from posting these bloggers from posting pics of their new rings or talking about how amazing their life is going. I mean girl if I had a ring on my finger...the whole world would know it. I do think that all these pics, tweets, texts and posts are making me think more than normal about my life and the things that are not in it.
Perhaps I am not meant to be the Charlotte, Carrie, or even the Miranda...and perhaps I am and will always be Samantha. Is that really so bad? I have discovered that regardless of who you we all deserve someone special in our lives, and even if I am a Samantha as long as I am happy with who I am ...that is all I need. Besides I am single because I can't imagine being tied down right now with a husband. I like the fact that if I wanted to get up tomorrow and move across the country I could, because it is just me..and there is nothing wrong with that!